Ultra Shrek X Nic Cage
by BestFanFic1110
Summary: Nic Cage has to have so much sex with Shrek in order to save the world. But can he do it in time?
1. Chapter 1: Genesis

**Ultra Shrek X Nick Cage**

Foreword by the author:

This is a bit of a passion project that I've been working on for a while now. I do plan on releasing more chapters, if there is enough interest. Hopefully the next couple of chapters will be longer, but here's chapter 1, just a sample of what is to come.

Also how did you find this seriously what were you searching.

Chapter 1

Shrek woke up in his Swamp and stretched his large, onion odered muscles. He stretched down and his gorgeous, perfect ass popped way in the air. Meanwhile in The Cage, Nic awoke and underwent a similar routine, but without the onion love.

Suddenly, Nic felt a strange tingling sensation in his buns. And he knew. It was time. He expanded his dong for good measure and rocketed off to the swamp, the place that would soon be his lover's final resting place.

Nic destroyed Shrek's roof, like he would soon destroy his anus. "Shrek," he said, tipping his fedora and smirking. "You know why I'm here."

"S-senpai Nic-san... I am ready."

Nic stripped off his fancy leather coat and slicked backs his already incredibly slick hair. He slipped off his plain white shirt seductively to reveal abs that are 3rockhard5u. He slips off his firey jeans and reveals elegant, loving thighs. His gigantic peen peaked just over his underpants, which he sensually ripped from his waist, revealing a gorgeous naked bod. "Get nude for me, Shrek, you sexy ogre you."

"Y-yes senpai." He levitated into the air and a sensual glow emanates from his body. When the glowing subsides, his precious curves and beautiful penis-hole were revealed in all their glory.

"Shrek? Your body is beautiful. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You are a national treasure. You're so pretty i wanna take your face off and keep it in my house."

"Oh senpai." Said Shrek.

"It's getting hot in here. We're going to need some con-air."

"K."

Nic lay down on top of Shrek, caressing his hairy body. "Your films are inspiring." He began to slowly insert is 13 inch member into Shrek's urethra, like how ghey secks really happens. Shrek let out a pleasured gasp, and accepted it with pride. Nic thrusted harder and faster until Shrek's onion love spilled all over Nic's huge cock with a true ogre's roar.

"Senpai..."

Nic's huge fingers wrapped around Shrek's mouth. "Shh... now it's my turn." He then slapped his large penis onto Shrek's gorgeous belly rolls, and rubbed all over them.

"Ooohhh..." Nic gasped. He began to belly fuck Shrek so hard that his urethra began to engulf him.

"Mmmph-" Shrek said. Nick pumped harder and harder, faster and faster. Nic was so infatuated with pleasure, he felt his rainbow cum begin to shoot out, Shrek with it. He came so fast and so hard that shrek was literally blown away. Not figuratively, like, "Oh wow that's really cool I'm blown away." I mean literally he was sent into space with the force of Nicolas Cage's ejaculation.

Shrek floated far away, where he landed on the moon. Nic lay naked on the floor, knocked unconscious by sheer pleasure.

Nic woke up to the still spunk covered swamp shack. The ritual had not been completed. As happy as he was that Shrek, his lover, had been spared, he knew that Shrek had to die for the good of the universe.

Will Nic and Shrek ever be reunited? Will the ritual be completed? Will they fuck really sexy again? Cuz I want that one to happen.

Find out in the next chapter of... Ultra Shrek X Nic Cage.


	2. Chapter 2: Revenge

Foreword by the Author

So it looks like I'm really doing this thing. Chapter 2, ladies and gentlemen. I'm currently working on chapters 3-6, with plans on doing more (maybe 10?). Anyway, without further ado, the saga continues...

Chapter 2

Shrek awoke blinded by chocolate flavored rainbow jizz. He wiped the sticky substance off his face, confused by the fact that he was still alive. Had Nic spared him? He groggily looked around to see a vast plane of gray rocks and mountains. He was on the moon.

He stretched and took a hearty ogre onion belch. He knew that he had to reconnect with Nic if the universe was to be spared a horrible, gruesome, and explosive death. But how could he ever even plan on escaping the moon? He tried using Shrecho-Location to find where Nic was, but he remembered that his powers were useless without onions.

Meanwhile, back at the swamp, Nic was trying desperately to take flight. But the super spunk that knocked Shrek off the face of the earth had taken too much out of him. _He's probably scared, looking for onions to power his abilities... _Nic thought to himself. _I have to find him._

The Cage knew that there was only one person who could help him reconnect with his boy-toy. He sighed. He had promised to himself long ago that he would never return that place.

The home of his ex.

He set out on foot for his trek to the house of his once-lover, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Green Hill Zone was a place that had a lot of green hills. There was green grass as far as the eye could see, as well as hills in there. Suddenly, Knuckles the Echidna came. "Nic, I thought we told you not to come around here anymore.

"I need to see him." Nic replied.

"No you don't. He's been a wreck ever since you left him for that sexy beast Shrek. He's still recovering."

"It's important. He's the only one for the job."

"All right. But don't say I didn't warn you." Knuckles led Nic Cage to Sonic's house.

He opened the door and found Sonic bent seductively over the stove. His shoes glistened as light flooded into the room upon their entry.

"Knuckles, you're ba-" Sonic gasped. "N-Nic...?"

There was a long and uncomfortable pause. The sexual tension was palpable. Sonic slammed his fist on the table, holding back tears. "I thought I told you to never come back."

"I wanted to apologize. I need you." Said Nic.

"For what? For that green skinned skank Shrek? Why the fuck do you think I would do something for that whore?"

"I'm cashing in that favor."

Sonic sighed. Cage had helped him in his time of need. There was no denying that. He looked at the ground. "Let's talk in private." He muttered. Sonic led Nic into his bedroom and locked the door.

"Look. I really am sorry for breaking your heart." Nic said, after a pause.

"Yeah you should be. The breakup was worse than Sonic fucking '06."

"Sonic..." he stepped closer. "I... I need you."

Sonic was surprised to hear this. He created a devious scheme. He would use Nic's classically vulnerable state to make love with him one more time.

"Is that so...? Well if you really want that from me, you'll have to give me something in return."

"Yes. Anything for Shrek. What is it?"

"Your body."

Nic needed to think this over for a bit. On one hand he didn't want to cheat on his lover (with his ex, no less). On the other hand, the universe would not be let down on his watch, and Sonic was the only one who could help him. "I... I... okay..."

Sonic burst internally with excitement. "Just what I wanted to hear big boy." He dug into his fur and revealed his fully erect hedgehog penis. "Take off those clothes, let that bird free." (HAHAHA OBSCURE NIC CAGE REFERENCE BITCH)

Nic stripped down, revealing his huge cock for the second time this week. "Bend over." He said.

"Oh no." Sonic replied. "Now it's your turn to get on bottom." He threw Nic onto the bed and inserted his penis into Nic's asshole. As soon as it penetrated, it enlarged to twice its size.

"OH MY GOD." Nic exclaimed. "Oh I love it in my ass."

"Ugh, that's right. You're my bitch tonight, Nicolas, you filthy whore."

"Okay, not hugely into that discipline stuff."

"Sure sorry." he said, kissing him on the cheek lightly. He rolled his dick around at the speed of sound. "Oh fuck, Nic, I'm gonna cum!"

"Oh yeah, Sonic. Do it inside my butthole." He said passionately.

"Gotta... go... FAST!" Sonic exclaimed as his quicksilver cum shot through Nic's digestive system and shot out his mouth.

"Blarghlahhagarabl." Said Nic. Sonic collapsed onto Nic's back. Nic looked up at him and smiled.

"Don't tell Shrek." He said. He was trapped in the paradise of knowing that Sonic had boned him so goddamn hard like wow.

"That was really good." Said Sonic. "Fine. I'll help you."

"Thank you." Said Nic. "Sonic... when this whole thing blows over... I want to move back in with you."

Sonic looked tearily in his eyes. "I-I'd like that." He said.

Will Sonic and Nic find Shrek? Will Shrek ever get back from the moon? Who will show up in the next thrilling chapter of Ultra Shrek X Nic Cage.


	3. Chapter 3: Rebirth

Foreword by the Author

Sorry this one took so long, but as you'll soon see, it's a doozy. So yeah. Merry Christmas motherfucker.

Chapter 3

Shrek yawned. The moon was not his swamp. It was a very different place. He looked down at the flat earth because the eaRTH IS FLAT DAMMIT and sighed. "When will I ever see Nic-san again?" He whispered softly to himself.

But something had changed. He heard a faint jingling noise.

"W-what's that?" He said, mushroom shaped ears perked.

He looked down and saw a magical sleigh propelled by reindeer! Who could it be? He shook with anticipation as the sleigh came in for a landing, and out popped none other than Santa Claus himself!

"Ho ho ho! This is what makes this a Christmas special!" And then he left.

Shrek let out a hearty ogre laugh. "What a guy!" He wandered the surface of the moon, and came across a large crater. In the center was a rocket! But what was a rocket doing on the moon of all places?

Shrek cautiously approached the rocket, wide grin plastered permanently across his face. His smile faded into a frown, as he saw small women surrounding the ship. "Hello, little friends!" He bellowed loudly.

The small women looked up suddenly. "Who are you?" They said in unison.

Shrek smirked, his face cast in shadow just for this line. "Don't you know? I'm Shrek."

They gasped, although in reality they had no clue who he was. "How could I get you fine ladies to grant me access to your ship.

They smirk simultaneously. "We have some ideas." In unison they strip down, revealing their 2 1/2 inch breasts, which was impressive considering they were about 3 inches tall.

With a whoosh, the blood drained from Shrek's head as his gargantuan ogre penis became rock hard almost instantly. They used the ladders on the rocket to climb into his various orifices. Suddenly, his throat, urethra, and anus were clogged with very sexy woman ladies having a good time.

Shrek let out a loud ogre roar as the ladies filled him with their bodies. Their laughter and moans echoed through Shrek's body, ricocheting off of his bones and right up to his skull. Shrek's entire being became filled with pleasure as the women tickled the inside of his massive cock and balls.

He could feel them scissoring each other inside of his balls and trachea. He breathed in and out heavily to pleasure the women inside of his lungs as much as possible.

With one final burst of pleasure, Shrek's onion flavored jizz began to shoot out from his cock, sucking all the women out with it. They lied in the puddle of his tasty spunk and licked themselves off. "So, how about now?" Shrek joked. They all laughed as they inserted the rocket into Shrek's anus, and shot off back to his swamp.

What could happen next? Will Nic find Shrek wandering the earth? Will Shrek survive the landing? Find out in the next thrilling chapter of Ultra Shrek X Nic Cage.


	4. Chapter 4: Decomposition

Foreword by the author

So I didn't write much over Christmas, I was too busy jacking off to my own work. In any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Really I had the most fun writing it, so I hope you have the most fun reading it.

Chapter 4

Nic and Sonic had been walking for days. Things had changed between them. They hardly knew each other any more. It was not the days of SoNic. The vast desert expanded far beyond the horizon.

"How much longer," Sonic panted, "until we find him?"

"About as long as my humungous cock." Nic replied through a dehydrated haze.

Sonic smirked and looked down. "Then we have a long ways to go."

The two ex-lovers continued their trek through the desert, when Nic passed out suddenly. "Cage?" Sonic exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

Sonic ran super duper speedy to his position. He knelt down and stroked his gloved hand across Nicolas' sweat coated face. "Fuck... Nic? Can you hear me?" Sonic lay his head on Nic's stomach and began to cry. Except there were no tears because of the fact that there was not a drop of water in his body.

Vision fading, Sonic uttered one last thing before slipping into an eternal slumber.

"I... I was too... slow..."

Sonic's heart slowed to a halt, and he passed away.

The Cage, still breathing and alive, woke up days later to the rotting corpse of what used to be his lover. "Sonic?" It was night time, and the desert was cold. He folded his arms for warmth.

After rubbing one out onto Sonic's lifeless face, as a sign of respect, Nic continued walking, through the now cold and windy sea of sand.

Through the sand whipping across his face, Nic could see a faint light in the distance. Eyes widening (but not too much or he could get sand in his eyes), he began to run to the source. After what seemed like hours, he approached a small campsite. Sitting at the fire was some strange tall robot.

"Hello." Nic said. "I come in peace."

"Oh?" Replied the robot. "Then tell me, traveler, why have you come?"

"I need to find a friend. My name is Nicolas. Nicolas Cage."

The robot stood up, towering over him. She extended a hand for shaking. "Samus."

The two sat back around the fire. "You know, I used to be a bounty hunter myself, Ms. Aran."

"Really?" Samus responded. "Then you must know a thing or two about acquiring a _bounty_."

Nic looked at her, confused, for about a minute. "I don't follow."

"Like... like booty. Bounty = booty. Let's just have buttsex." Samus said, defeated.

"K"

A gaping hole opened in the rear of Samus' mechanical suit, making space for her bumhole and vageen. Cage unleashed his beast of a cock once more, and pushed Samus onto the ground. He thrusted a mighty thrust, and engaged himself in coitus with Samus. The glass on Samus' visor fogged up as she panted along with each of his thrusts.

Her boobs were jiggling a lot, but you couldn't see them cuz she was still wearing her robo armor. I promise they were, like, huge.

Nicolas' cock pounded on her hole like no other cock had ever pounded before. As Nic pleasured himself with her body, he had a sudden moment of self-awareness. Why? What reason did he have to be engaging in intercourse with Samus Aran?

That moment quickly passed, as his cock exploded through Samus' mouth and crashed through the visor. Whatever.

He thrusted more and more, Samus loving every second. As he reached climax, the jizzaroo shot out of her mouth and onto his face, where he drank every last drop.

As he swallowed, they parted. "That was really sexy and arousing." Nic said to his recent sexual partner.

The hole in her suit closed. "I suppose we should get going, if we want to find Shrek."

Nic slipped back into his clothes. "Funny, I don't remember telling you his name."

"I mean I'm pretty sure you did. How else would I remember lol."

"Lol yeh I guess not." Replied Nic.

They hopped up onto the baby metroid and scanned the desert. In a matter of minutes they had accomplished more than Nic had with Sonic over the span of multiple days. After a rather fast scan of the area, they saw the wreckage of a crashed ship. "Down there!" Exclaimed the Cage.

They landed by the heap of twisted scrap metal. Nic jumped off of the stallion and examined it. He found bits and pieces of what were distinctly the inside of Shrek's asshole. He ran his finger through a bit of green ooze on the top and took a small taste.

"He was here."

A trail of Shrek's shit led far away from the initial crash site. They followed it far outside of the desert, into a nearby city. Grey concrete buildings towered over their heads. Ratty old air conditioners hung off of the sides at street level. Smoke or fog covered the streets, as neon lights blared Japanese words inside of windows. The only sign in English was on the side of some form of office building reading, "Valued Employee!" It was odd to say the least.

They couldn't help but notice one thing. Very few people wandered the streets. There were some strange looking shopkeepers inside some of the street level old electronic shops with wide grins that didn't seem to fade, but very little beyond that. They wandered the sidewalks cautiously.

They came to some sort of roundabout where a tall replica of some greek statue of a philosopher or warrior of some sort was erected. Just like Shrek's peen, miles away from that city.

Had they continued to follow the trail of shit that Shrek had left for them, they would have found themselves in a dense forest, where Shrek was sitting at a campfire with no one else around. His anus still pounded from the ride back to Earth. He was dazed and confused, but figured he would never be found if he continued to wander aimlessly.

He sat at the fire, staring deeply into it and reminiscing about the time he spent with Nic before everything went wrong. His massive ogre cock began to throb, and he just had to fap. His cock ripped out of his brown trousers and flopped onto his leather vest and burlap shirt. He leaned over and wrapped his lips around it, bobbing his head up and down, sucking his own goddamn dick. He didn't need anyone but himself, for fuck's sake.

He twirled his plunger-shaped ears around in his fingers as he tasted the vegetable flavor of his green bean. He went faster and faster, rolling his tongue around it time and time again. He let out a roar as his cock exploded into his mouth, which was muffled by the gallons of cum being shot down his throat and out his ass.

He passed out, fully satisfied by his results.

Will Nic Cage and Samus Aran ever escape the City of Sick Aesthetic? Will Shrek ever wake up (probably)? Will they ever reunite? Find out in the next thrilling chapter of Ultra Shrek X Nic Cage!


End file.
